Your first night at the Ingham County Jail

You didn't plan on being arrested, did you?

But you invaded someone's home, or you picked a fight at Rick's, or you got pulled over for drunk driving. You may have spent a couple hours in lockup in East Lansing, or overnight in Lansing. But you're on the way to the Ingham County Jail, 630 North Cedar Street, Mason, Michigan 48854.

You're probably crammed into the back of a Chevy Impala police cruiser. If you're tall, good luck -- it's a cramped ride. Your hands are cuffed behind your back and your wrists may be bleeding.

You'll probably have some time to contemplate things on your ride to Mason. If it's your first trip to jail, you wonder how you managed to fuck your life up so badly. You just feel miserable. You may wish you were dead. But you're not dead, and you're not even dying. You're just going to jail.

When you arrive at the jail, the police car will pull into a secure garage. You're seated in the right rear of the car. The cop will open the door and tell you to get out. You're about to enter the Ingham County Jail. A guard will buzz to let you and your friendly police officer inside. You're in a small vestibule behind a secure window.

Get ready to have your shoe laces and any other strings cut off and thrown away. If you are wearing a $300 North Face parka, say goodbye to the fancy elastic cords. They don't want you to hang yourself.

After initial processing, your new best friend the cop will deposit you inside the holding area. You will sit on a bench and stare at guards inside a wire cage. You see holding cells with inmates inside. They stare at you and you stare back. They are just a little bit further along in the process than you are.

If you chose to be arrested on a busy night, you'll likely spend the entire night in one of the holding cells. Each cell is about 15 feet square. It has a metal combination toilet / sink. Don't expect a warm fuzzy toilet seat or any privacy.

And don't expect any comfort. If you manage to get some sleep, you'll be on a concrete bench or the concrete floor. The guard may give you a threadbare blanket.

There's a clock up on the wall. Enjoy the privilege of knowing what time it is. You'll want time to move fast, but it'll move as slowly as you've ever known in your life. Later, when you move to "post" as they call it, you will long to know what time it is. There are no clocks inside -- and don't bother asking a guard what time it is.