Yes, there's TV in jail -- but don't pick CNN

Quick. The guard rushes in, and asks you to pick a TV channel. You have 5 seconds.

If you are unsentenced, you will have television. Or, if you are sentenced and you are assigned to Post 10, the work area, you will have TV.

PICK A CHANNEL, damn it! If you're in an area that has TV, you need to understand the rules.

You're not at home on the couch with your remote control, dude. You don't control the channel. The choice of channel will happen only a few times per day. If your guard is an asshole -- and 1/4 of the guards are assholes -- you and your fellow inmates may only choose one channel for the entire day.

So let's be smart and pick a channel that everyone agrees upon. You won't have the luxury of looking at the on-screen channel guide. A helpful former inmate has made a printed guide using his rubber pencil, and your fellow inmates have memorized their favorite channels.

We're all sports fans, right. So let's pick ESPN Sportscenter, right? We'll watch sports news all day, right?  Wrong! Most days, ESPN runs the same sports news stories over and over. It's a loop that repeats every 30 minutes. The only time your fellow inmates will like this choice is when ESPN actually is carrying a game -- or maybe on a football Saturday when they show Gameday. But on your typical day, ESPN sucks after 30 minutes.

For God's sake don't pick CNN or the History Channel.  I made the mistake of asking for CNN and another inmate went apoplectic, and threatened a fight. The safe bet channels are TNT or Spike. You're in jail, and your fellow inmates may not be the sharpest knives in the drawer.

The guards hold TV as a club over your head.  TV watching hours are usually from lunch time till 11:00 p.m., time for lights out.  If there's disorder in your dorm, the guard will punish the group by witholding TV, maybe even for a day or more.  It's a powerful weapon; jail without television is far more boring.  

In Post 10, the workers' post, there is a television room with two TVs.  One is typically on sports, with the sound muted. The other is typically on, you guessed it, the History Channel.